well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize