kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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