I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
