He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
