I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
false alarm, still single
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
