So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Randomize
