I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
