shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Randomize
