Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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