i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
