my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
