Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Randomize
