He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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