I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
