At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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