i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
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