Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
We left an ass print on the piano.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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