it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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