So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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