To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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