So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
Randomize