I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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