I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
