Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
