Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
