I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
