Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
The to do list extremely baked self wrote for me last night says "1. Join gym 2. Passport? 3. Join a gym" And then just a drawing of a squid
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
