I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
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while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
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