This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
