OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
