we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
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bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
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I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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