I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
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