I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
