So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize