just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
