OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
