great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize