yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
