what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Randomize
