Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I could fuck to npr.
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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