careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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