shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
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