so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
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Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
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I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
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