The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
We smell like vodka and hangover
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
