Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
