Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
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