The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is my gift to your gina
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
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