I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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