I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
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