Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Randomize