I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
she pinky promised me she was 18
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
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