The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
you were standing in two feet of water, screaming at people walking by to "call river rescue".
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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