Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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