Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
