I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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