make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
