I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Every concussion has its silver lining
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
