A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
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