I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
