We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
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