Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
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